FRIENDSHIP SMS

LIC NEW FRIENDSHIP POILCY
ASSURED FRIENDSHIP FOR
LIFE ON A PREMIUM OF SENDING
AT LEAST ONE MSG PER MONTH
TO REGISTER GIVE A MISS CALL NOW......

COOL SMS

1 stone is enough 2 break a glass,
1 sentence is enough 2 break a heart
1 sec is enough 2 fall in love
And 1 friend like u is enough
2 live a life!!!!

FRIENDSHIP SMS

Birth is "START OF LIFE",
Beauty is "ART OF LIFE",
Love is "PART OF LIFE",
Death is "LAST OF LIFE",
BUT, Friendship is the "HEART OF LIFE".

Lovable number "143",
Lovable symbol "Rose",
Lovable place "Taj Mahal",
Lovable day "14 Feb",
Lovable organ "Heart",
Lovable friend "U"....

My maths teacher told me 1'hour=60 mins.
& 1'min=60'secs. but she never told me that
1'sec.without a FRIEND like U is equal to 100'years.

"FRIEND": who is
F: First for me.
R: Ready anytime for me.
I: Inspires me.
E: Enjoys life with mi.
N: Never forgets me.
D: Dear! Its YOU.

Wat will I do if god gives me 24 hrs before death?
I will be with u 23 hrs.
now u r thinking wat abt d last hr,
in tht hour i will search someone 2 care 4 U..

MARRIAGE SMS & JOKES

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has,
you wish you had ordered that.

Congratulations on the termination of your isolation
and may I express an appreciation of your determination
to end the desperation and frustration
which has caused you so much consternation
in giving you the inspiration to make a combination
to bring an accumulation to the population.

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go on our anniversary?
" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her,
"How about the kitchen?"

FUNNY SMS

3 Chimps escaped from the zoo...
1 was caught watching tv...
another playing football and
the third one was caught reading this txt message

FUNNY SHAYRI'S

"Dil ke arman ansuo me beh gaye,
Hum gali me the gali me reh gaye...
Light chali gayi,
Jo baat unse kehni thi wo unki mummy se keh gaye.... "

"Zindagi ki raah mushkil hain to kya huaa. Thoda sa tum chalo,thoda sa main...phir Rikshaa kar lenge.."

"Hum aise aashik hain jo gulab ko kamal bana denge, Uski har adaa par ghazal bana denge.. Agar wo aa jayegi mere jindgi me, To Reliance ki kasam DELHI me bhi Tajmahal bana denge.."

"Tu ne mere man se khela, Tu ne mere tan se khela, Tu ne mere dil se khela, Tu ne mere Dhan se khela, Tu ne mere man, tan, dil aur dhan se khela, .... Well Played, Well Played (Wah, Wah..)
Wo hamari zindagi main kuchh is tarah se aaye. Wo hamari zindagi main kuch is tarah se aaye. Jaise hare bhare khet main Bhais ghus jaye. "

"Maine tumse pyar kiya, tere baap ne muzhe pita
Maine tumse pyar kiya, tere baap ne muzhe pita
Tan ki shakti, manki shakti, Bournvita"

"Aaj! aasmaan mein taare aise chamak rahe
hain Aaj aasmaan mein taare aise chamak rahe hain....
JAISE KAL CHAMAK RAHE THE" !!!

"aasman mein char tare aasman mein char tare
do tumhare do hamare
Maine tujhe dekha Dekhta raha,
Dekhta hi gaya Phir mujhe chashma lag gaya "

FUNNY SMS

Happiest man is one ,
whose daughters photo is on Femina cover,
Son - on India today
wife - missing people magine...

FRIENDLY SMS

When U mix rice in milk ,
U call it kheer...
when U mix vinegar in
U call it paneer...
when U mix my dosti , in ur life,
U call it Takdeer.......

COOL SMS

what is true frndship ?
I cry - U cry, I sad - U sad,
I laugh - u laugh, U jump out
of window, I look down,
I m still laughing....

MORNING SMS

Hot tea !!

' " /'
l''''''''l specially
l ___ l for U

I mixed it with
1 tsp of F'ship,
1 tsp of care and
3 tsp of happiness...... GOOD MORNING!!!

FUNNY SMS

To live a life one needs brain,
perception, IQ knowledge, way
of expression, and many more qualities,
Tumhe salaam U r great without it...

BAR JOKE

A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the can. He doesn't want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, "I spat in this beer, do not drink!". After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, "So did I!"

ARMY JOKE

Several years ago, after having Japanese executives from the automotive industry tour a Ford Plant, they held a press conference in which one of the Japanese execs claimed that the American workers were slow and lazy.Not long after, a friend sent me a picture of a bumper sticker on a truck at the Ford plant.It read - "We may be slow and lazy, but we build a damn good bomb!"

SHAYRI SMS

Aas pass raho ya dur, hum
dil se awaaz mila sakte hai,
na khat ke mohtaz hai na telephone ke,
per aapke dil ko ek hichki se hila sakte hai....

FUNNY SMS

Ramchandra keh gaye siya se
aisa kalyug aayega, ek dost
sirf SMS karega, dusra stupid
bas padh ke muskurayega !!!

COOL SMS

I HATE YOU
H - happy to see u
A - always miss u
T - take u in my mind
E - everyday think abt u

FUNNY SMS

Count the stars
* * * * * * *
* * * * * * *
* * * * * *
* * * * *
* * * *
gin liye ?
Lo ek aur pagal paida ho gaya
din mein taare ginta hai.......

GOODNIGHT SMS

Andheri sadak, sunsaan kabristan
sooni haveli, kaala aasmaan,
raat ho gayi
Soja Shaitaan....... Gdnite!!

FRIENDLY SMS

Heart is like crystal, preserve it.
Love is like perfume, spread it.
feelings r like flood, flow it.
friendship is like umbrella,
come lets share it......

CARTOON JOKE

Mickey Mouse is having a nasty divorce with Minnie Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation. "I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane..." Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was mentally insane, I said that she's fucking goofy!"

Lots of Jokes - We've got lots of jokes!

CELEBRITY JOKE

Bill Gates died in a car accident. He found himself in Purgatory being sized up by God..."Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in the world and yet you created that ghastly Windows 95. I'm going to do something I've never done before. In your case, I'm going to let you decide where you want to go!"Bill replied, "Well, thanks, God. What's the difference between the two?"God said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly if it will help you make a decision." "Fine, but where should I go first?" God said, "I'm going to leave that up to you." Bill said, "OK, then, let's try Hell first." So Bill went to Hell.It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters. There were thousands of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining and the temperature was perfect. Bill was very pleased. "This is great!" he told God, "If this is Hell, I REALLY want to see Heaven!" "Fine," said God and off they went.Heaven was a high place in the clouds, with angels drifting about playing harps and singing. It was nice but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute and rendered his decision. "Hmm, I think I prefer Hell" he told God. "Fine," retorted God, "as you desire." So Bill Gates went to Hell.Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When God arrived in Hell, he found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming amongst the hot flames in a dark cave. He was being burned and tortured by demons. "How's everything going, Bill?" God asked.Bill responded - his voice full of anguish and disappointment, "This is awful, this is not what I expected. I can't believe this happened. What happened to that other place with the beaches and the beautiful women playing in the water?"God says, "That was the screen saver".

KID JOKES

Q. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
A. He wanted cold hard cash!
Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
A. "Is that you mommy?"

FUNNY SMS

mujhe sms pe sms karke aap
jit sakte hai, 4lak ki car ka photo,
29 inch colour t.v ka box,
malesia janewale plane ko bye kerne
ka chance, OFFER LTD Hurry!!!!

COOLSMS

Khabo mein aayenge "sms" ki tarah
dil mein bas jayenge "ringtone" ki tarh,
dosti kabhi kam na hogi "balance" ki tarah,
bas tum busy na rehena "network" ki tarh...

FRIENDLY SMS

To be disturbed by the beep
of phone only means that
"somehow" "somewhere" "somebody"
is thinking of u at this very moment,
thats me....

FUNNY SMS

Lab khamosh ho jate hai,
jab tum samne aate ho.
Dildhadkta hai jab,
tum nigahe milate ho.
saanse rukti hai jab muskurate ho
BHOOT HO KYA ,itana kyun darate ho.....

SHAYRI SMS

dono aankho mein aakash liye ghumte hai
hum apni ninde aapke naam karte hai
jab bhi palak zhapke tumhari
samajana tumhe yaad karte hai....

Funny sardarji jokes

EMPLOYMENT
Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column "Salary Expected" : He was not sure as to whatto be filled there. After much thought he wrote : Yes

* * * * * *

CROCODILE BOOTS
Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair ofcrocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watchhim killing a huge one . He walks over the reptile,checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and*again* barefeet!"
* * * * * *

A sardar goes into a store and sees a shiny object.He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"The clerk replies, "That is a thermos flask."The sardar then asks, "What does it do?" The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold."The sardar says, "I'll take it!"The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos.His sardar boss sees him and asks,"What is that shiny object with you?"He said, "It's a thermos flask."The boss then says,"What does it do?" He replies, "It keeps hot things hotand cold things cold."The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"The sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."

* * * * * *

What will a Sardarji do after taking photocopies ?He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes
What will a sardarji do if he wants an additional white sheet of paper ?(he already has one and he wants one more..)He takes a photcopy of the white paper !!!

* * * * * *
Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters. They were planning for free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a point, "Oh.. we'llget Punjab from India but how would we develop it?"That was a difficult question indeed. Suddenly Banta Singh replied, "Noproblem! we'll attack USA, it would take over us and then we would be a state of USA and we'llautomatically get developed."All the surds became happy on this very simple solution but an old surd didnot utter a single word.Someone asked him why he wasn't happy.The surd replied, "OH! THAT'S ALRIGHT BUT...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IFBY CHANCE WE TAKE OVER USA ?????"

********

Sardar went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman."Sorry, we don't sell to SARDARs," he replied.He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returnedto tell the salesman"I would like to buy this TV.""Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied."Damn, he recognized me," he thought. he went for a complete disguise thistime, haircut and new hair color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a fewdays before he again approached the salesman."I would like to buy this TV.""Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.Frustrated, he exclaimed "How do you know I'm a Sardar?""Because that's a microwave," he replied

* * * * * * *

Q. How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
A. Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

* * * * * *

Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
They always forget the recipe.

* * * * * *

Q. How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
A. He threw it off a cliff.

* * * * * *

Q. What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
A. A wind tunnel.

* * * * * *

Q. What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes?
A. The back of his head.

* * * * * *

Q. What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer?
A. Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).


* * * * * *

Q. What do you call a sardar who has only one drink?
A. Just-one Singh. (again 'T' silent)

* * * * *

Q. Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?
A. They think their picture is being taken.

* * * * * *

Q. Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
A. Toes Go In First.
* * * * * *

Q. How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax?
A. It has a stamp on it.

* * * * * *

Q. Why can't Sardar dial 911?
A. They can not find the eleven on the phone

* * * * * *

Q. How do you get Sardar on the roof?
A. Tell him the drinks are on the house.

* * * * * *

"Oh, look at the dead bird."Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?

* * * * * *

Q. What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common?
A. You always hear about them but you never see them.

* * * * * *

Q. Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman as opposed to a regularone?
A. You have to hollow out the head.

* * * * * *

TO LOSE WEIGHT..The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days,he would loose 34 kilos.At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost theweight,but he had a problem."What's the problem?"asked the doctor."I'm 2400 kms from home."

* * * * * *

TRAIN TO LUDHIANA..Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station.Hari Singh asks the clerk: "Can I take this train to Ludhiana?""No," answers the Railway man."Can I?" asks Gani Singh.

* * * * * *

A sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs startapproaching he is cowering in his seat when hisfriend asks him "kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinemahi to hai" Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekinvoh to janwar hai, usko kya pata "

* * * * * *

Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takesalong some wine and chicken with him.Somebody stops him and asks "What are you doing with this stuff?"Sardarji replies "I dont want to die hungry in case the train is late."

* * * * * *

Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills data in the birth certificate"Mother: Sikh.Father: Sikh.Kid: Chinese."How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are Sikh?""Aah, Sardarji read a newspaper, it says that every 4th person born on theEarth now is a Chinese."

* * * * * *

Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a Sardarji were sent to the outer space.The ground control issues commands "Rubi!" "Woof!"(its the barking sound)"Press the red button." "Woof! Woof!" "Moti!""Woof!" "Press the white button." "Woof! Woof!""Sardarji!" "Woof.""Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch anything!"

* * * * * *

Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower whensomeone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. Sardarji says "Yes". "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken for aride. On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same street and thesame man asks him to buy the clock."Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool.This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."

* * * * * *

DOUBLE DECKER BUS RIDESanta Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into adouble-decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat. But unfortunate Banta gotpushed to the top.After a while when the rush was over, Santa went upstairs to see friendBanta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with bothhands, scared to death.He says, "Arre Banta Singh ! What the heck's goin' on? Why are you so scared? I was enjoying my ride down there ?Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you'vegot a *driver.*"

* * * * * *

Santa Singh with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him whathad happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up thephone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuckit to my ear.""Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ..what happened to yourother ear?""The scoundrel called back."

Friendly sms

Smiles r like bird,
they fly from face 2 face
may ur lips give them a better nest
so that they can live there 4ever
so KEEP SMILING

Morning sms

twinkle twinkle o lazy star
kitana soye ga uthaja mere yaar,
up above d world so high
sun has risen in the sky,
uth ke jaldi pee le chai,
then u call and tell me
Hi...

Funny sms

kya aap confidence se chalte hai
kya aap penalty bharte hai
kya mobile ke bill se darte hai
nahi naa to aap sms kyun nahi karte ?

Friendly sms

sending u 1000 smiles...
take 1/4 now n keep rest all
under ur pillow
pick 1 everytime whn u think
of me...
bcoz i want 2 c u smiling...

cool sms

Life is like a book we all read
it
Love is a blessing we all
need it
always be happy , always
have a smile
remember in this
world we are 4 a while